Resting

I have had this horrible cold for two weeks now. The last few days I have just been coughing my head off. I am going to stay home tomorrow and have a day of rest in hopes of getting a handle on it. It is really hard to stay home and *be sick* when it is Spring outside. Spring usually finds me energized, optimistic and cheerful. Instead I am just feeling very tired and frustrated that so many beautiful things are being spoiled by this cold. I can't hardly walk with Tracy because I will start a coughing fit if I go too fast. This means I can't really hike at Whitewater either. *Sigh* It doesn't help that my husband and family are completely unsympathetic. I am a total baby when I am sick and really need for someone to *take over* and take care of me. Ironically, the doctor just doesn't have it in him.My daughters can sometimes be helpful but it is nothing to count on.

So, tomorrow I'll sit at home and take care of myself. I really hope one day is enough because I can't afford to be gone from school too much.

I have had moving on my mind alot lately. Jon finishes Residency next year and we will need to make some decisions. We could stay here, of course, but with Mayo having no openings in Family Med (unless something changes in the next year) our options here are limited. I am feeling a little tired of *here* anyway and despite my wonderful friendships and my job I would be up for change if it were the right one.

We have many solicitations from Texas, strangly enough, but there is no way on this earth I am living there. No thanks! My dream has always been the town I grew up in-Coeur d Alene Idaho. Jon loves it too. My only worries for moving there now would be #1 My sociopathic psycho step-father who lives in Spokane #2 The schools. There is nothing I can do about my step dad. He is getting pretty old now so hopefully time will take care of him. As far as the schools, I just assumed that they wouldn't be that great. I mean, you know...Idaho. After getting into some research on the matter, however, they actually have more kids reading and doing math at or above the average than Minnesota. Better yet, Coeur d Alene has a charter school that is a college preparatory school. Charter schools are part of the public school system and are free. This one looks excellent. Could I really see myself living in the place I always dreamed of living? Could I actually find some property with woods and a creek, room for a horse and actually be able to afford it? Could Jon actually make enough that I could stay at home and make our house a real home? It seems like I have wanted that for so long and lost sight of it in the waiting. I forgot where my true ambition lies. I want peace and quiet in a great woodsy location, four seasons but no artic air and bad ice storms, room for animals and the ability to travel and spend time with family. How did I get so far away from that?

Now we just need to find Jon a job there...

Alone Tonight

Dear Husband,
Call home. You forgot your cell phone so I can't contact you, the fireplace won't work, your younger daughter is in *big* trouble and I am coughing like there is no tomorrow.

"There's not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer"