I was finally able to get some running in. So far today has been the most "normal" day I have had in a long time. Jon works in the ER today but thankfully will be home tonight. The moonlighting spree he has been on has slowed a little. Tracy is home with her family for the weekend and I haven't heard from Rachel yet.
Rachel has slowly been warming up to us. She calls me frequently and asks for rides to work or to go see a movie. I took her and Rhi to the Minnesota Zoo last week. We saw Harry Potter on the IMAX in 3D and had fun at the zoo itself. She wanted to go with Rhi and I out to Whitewater yesterday so I took her along. Rhi has a 10 gallon aquarium that she has been using to watch her pollywogs change into frogs. When they become frogs we take them back to their home at Whitewater and release them. We all had fun watching the frogs hop happily into the river. I took the girls to A&W afterwards for snacks and had a good conversation with Rachel. She wants to come home and I laid out what she had to do to make that happen. A simple apology for her behavior and an agreement to live by the rules of our house. We'll see. I think she has had enough of the big bad world...I was able to wake up and go running which hasn't happened in a long time. I am happy to say I did 2 miles right off the bat! I need to get in more exercise though. I am getting to be in great health from walking around the lake. Tracy and I walk close to 6 miles a day every weekday morning. I am up to 60 reps on my ab roller and have been doing some small weights for my arms. I am healthy and toned but have not lost weight. If anything all of the new muscle work has put on more! I must work on my diet more. I really hate giving up good food! Back in the day if I would have been working out like this I would look like Nicole Richie by now. Thanks to thyroid disease that ain't happenin'! *sigh* More running and biking should help things along but I hardly ever have time for it.Time has really been an issue this summer. I am going to have to start saying "no" to people or I will not accomplish anything!. Kecia was going to call about going to the Mall of America today but I haven't heard from her. I almost called her to ask if she wanted to run with me but I think I better leave well enough alone. I have laundry and other house work today along with the continual work that needs to be done on clearing out the old play room to make it into a study/practice space for Rhi.Running on the trail this morning gave me lots of time to think on getting back to my spiritual self. I am still not sure how to do it other than go back to things I was doing before. Stupid materialistic things like listening to Pow Wow music and burning sage. No, I am not into New Age nor would I dare to consider myself any kind of a medicine woman. There is such thing as setting the stage though and so it's a good place to start. I found this quote today in a little poetry book that we had given to Tom when he was here visiting. He spent Christmas of 1999 and New Years with us and we gave him some things in his stocking. He left it all behind and ended up never coming back into our home so they are mine now. This is from a little book called "Songs of the Earth":"hummingbird
magenta-green and white
carrier of light and wind
from the south you came singing
a high shrill whistle weighted with rain
everywhere you flew the grasses bowed in prayer
and a greeness came to the land as your song was heard
you wings rushed the clouds
to bring sweet wet seed from the skies
and everywhere you looked was singing
----Harold Littlebird
Native American
(pueblo) poet
Ug. The phone just rang. I am not answering it. That is how the madness always starts!
how can you see into my
eyes like open doors,
leading you down into my
core, where i've become
so numb.
without a soul, my spirit
sleeping somewhere cold,
until you find it there and
lead it back home.
wake me up inside,
wake me up inside,
call my name and save me from the dark.
bid my blood to run,
before i come undone
save me from the nothing i've become.
bring me to life
now that i know what i'm without,
you can't just leave me.
breathe into me and make me real.
bring me to life.
wake me up inside,
wake me up inside,
call my name and save me from the dark.
bid my blood to run,
before i come undone.
save me from the nothing i've become.
bring me to life.
bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling,
only you are the life among the dead.
bring me to life.
wake me up inside,
wake me up inside,
call my name and save me from the dark.
bid my blood to run,
before i come undone.
save me from the nothing i've become.
bring me to life.
bring me to life.
Evanescence
Strange things are afoot lately. I think it is time to get in touch with my spiritual side again. Last time was many years ago and led me to many interesting conclusions about many things. I fell away from it all when my ex showed up on the scene and now I feel the need for it again. It was never truely gone from me but I did lose sight of it for awhile. It is telling me in so many big ways that it is time to get back to it so I have to look back to a time almost 7 years ago when it was lost and try to get to that place again. I have lately felt very fulfilled in consoling my friend through her difficult time and methinks I feel the call of another person who needs my support and that it is connected to the spiritual world. *Sigh* It is very hard to put into words because it's just a feeling accompanied by "signs" if you will. Wow. I sound like I have flipped my lid... (no comments from the peanut gallery!)
We did it. We waited in line at Barnes and Noble to get the next Harry Potter. It was a total zoo! Rhi is 11 so she is the perfect age. I hope she enjoyed herself because it was not easy staying up so late for that book! I am one tired mamma right now! I am pretty sure she won't get to sleep until it's read. Keep reading for possible spoilers...
I was very pleased to note that the online spoilers were true! I love being told the end of a book or movie. It doesn't *ruin* it for me because I am still curious as to what the story itself is. It's not the end, it's the journey or something like that. I had no problem turning to the last page and reading it. I haven't even started the series so I have a nice little reading spree to attend to as soon as I finish my Diane Gabaldon. I think they should have combined the event and had a Harry Potter meets Jack Sparrow night. I would have been more excited about that!
I am feeling a little frustrated with the same summer game of trying to do too many things at once and not really doing any of them well. I am being pulled in so many directions. I have house painting and fixing up that must be done before school begins and yet-it's summer! I want to be able to have fun too! Rachel wanted to see a movie yesterday and my friend wanted to do some things too and I just kind of wanted to stay home and take inventory so to speak. Things are moving way too fast...
I've been away on vacation and busy with house fixing up stuff. All to be detailed soon. I enjoyed my trip but yearn for more knowing that I must stay close to the homefront to get it in order before school starts. I feel like school is already lurking on my doorstep and that scares me because I am really really really *not* ready to go back! I keep reminding myself that there are about six weeks or so left but I know well how fast that time flys. Especially with so much to do... Even with the uncertainty of Rachel ever returning to her room or not I am focusing all efforts on the lower level. My goal is to finish all painting down there, turn the playroom into a library/study for Rhianna, turn Rachel's room into a guest room and finish putting Rhi's room together.
The playroom is the first target and the biggest challenge. There is some wood work that still needs to be finished (small shelf along the wall and window/door trim), a light fixture that needs to be installed (I only use a qualified electrician for such things), a door that we would like to sheet rock into a wall. The sheet rock and the woodwork are both things our neighbor can do if we can get him over to look at it. He is an excellent carpenter. I need to call for the light fixture and paint the room myself. I had a lady come in and measure the entire basement for carpet as well as work up an estimate for us. I choose a high end stainmaster berber and we are talking about almost $5,000 to do the basement! I'll be getting other estimates...I just want to get all of this done before school and I am not sure that is going to happen. I also need to call and get Rhi some horn lessons again and an appt. with an orthodentist. Time for braces! Yikes. What am I doing here? I better get rolling!