Today Rhianna turns 14. I can't hardly fathom it. In two years she will be driving.Two years after that its College. *sigh* Time goes by so fast. So very very fast...
It was a pretty hectic birthday but I think she still had fun. We had basketball practice right in the middle of everything so that kind of interupted our time. I think she still enjoyed her day, though, busy as it was. I am ready for bed!The Steelers are dumb! Good game though even though Vikes finally lost one.
Had a busy but wonderful day today! Jon turned 42 today and I spent much of the day running around trying to get ready for his birthday. No matter how much planning I do ahead of time, I always seem to end up running around anyway!
Soccer tournaments brought lots of people to our town today. The Mall and restaurants were packed! Tracy and I had a nice mocha scone this morning and then walked. We then did some shopping and then ran a few errands before sharing a wonderful lunch. After lunch I ran a few more errands (including finally getting Max a winter coat, bib and mittens) and meeting Jon at Rhi's basketball lesson. We then went home and wrapped presents while we waited for Max to wake up. We all met at Famous Daves and had a really nice dinner. I was impressed with their ability to seat us as well as an entire soccer team with parents and serve everyone on time with a smile. After dinner we went home for cake and presents and then watched Signs on blu ray on the big screen. Tired. Very tired! Happy Birthday love. I remember when you turned 24! (reverse of 42)You haven't aged a day!My Doc retired. Great. So, I had to get around the "let's just give you a PA instead of a Doc" and the "let's pawn off the old guy that nobody wants" game to get someone who I would be comfortable with. One month. That's the price. The day after Thanksgiving I'll go in and find out what's up.
Odd week. Little to no walking due to Tracy's busy schedule. Rachel had a fever today and complained that her neck hurt. Great. Rhi is getting to be more and more of a challenge. I forgot how much 14 and on sucks. I am not sure I can survive another round of the teenage years. Girls are so sassy. Rhi contradicts me so much I am beginning to think she took lessons from my Ex."Actually..."Max is so sweet and almost walking. I worry about him getting sick daily. We haven't had any regular flu vaccine here more or less the H1N1. Jon had been vaccinated for both but we are all still waiting. They are saying Nov. Wow.Hoping my friend Sue is better soon!
Time to stop. Time to slow down. I have to find a way to do this. I have struggled for years trying to "do it all" and once again my body is telling me it is too much. The first time was my thyroid disease which started right when I went to work full time. That is when trying to "do it all" started. The damage from the thyroid disease is permenant. No going back.
Women in our society right now are very much expected to pull their weight and most of the time managing the house and children alone doesn't begin to cut it. So we lie. We get jobs and work twice as hard to keep up in the rat race. We work even when we don't need the money because someone might accuse us of being parasites. W I have been living the lie for 11 years now. We don't quite do all the cleaning-just enough so no one can tell. We smile and say everything is fine even as we battle illness in all of its guises. We begin to blame others for our own choices and our frustration with not having enough time. Each day is a battle against time. If I only had one more minute, hour, day. And then its over and you look back and see that that was your life and you can't believe how you have wasted it. On nothing. On chasing something you can never catch or recover.I'll be going to the doc soon and I am quite certain I have nothing to worry about but I am going to be safe and go anyway. I battled what my husband likes to remind me was a very mild cervical cancer (not really cancer at all!) 15 years ago and now it appears it may be back for seconds. That mild case involved acid, freezing, biopsies, and laser surgery and resulted in losing some of my cervix. It may be nothing this time. I'd like to believe that but experience tells me that anything could happen at any time. I won't mess around this time. Now that I am done with kids I can have everything removed and at least have one less worry as far as uterine or ovarian cancer are concerned.Jon isn't worried at all which can either be insulting or heartening depending on how you want to look at it. It feels lonely though and has inspired some mighty interesting dreams the past few days. The night before last I dreamed of nothing but my friend Mary. We were doing stuff together as though we had never been apart for the last 8 years or so. Last night was more disturbing as my Ex-husband was featured as my one and only support.This is also the time of year I think about my now deceased Heather and that makes me even more emotional than usual. I am not sure why Autumn brings on memories of her so strongly but it never fails. I have flashes of trick-or-treating with her family, eating at Applebees, etc... Small reminders here and there. It's nice to know she is with me.Today is the end of our "break". We have had Thursday and Friday off as well as Sat and Sun. I feel a little better rested but have been battling headaches, cramps and massive fatigue all weekend. We went to Whitewater today and probably should not have. I never have any energy to cook and everyone always wants to know what's for dinner. Even Rachel who doesn't live in our house anymore. Ah the failures of today's woman. You might argue that it is the failure of society to always expect the woman to cook. I know that and I hope you will keeping fighting the good fight because I haven't the energy. We are eating poorly and I wish it were different. I just keep wishing."Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose, only time?
Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?
Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be ,in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
if the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart.....
Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?
Who knows? Only time
Who knows? Only time "
Enya
The Packers/Vikings game last night was SWEET! Especially in digital on the big screen! I can't wait for Nov 1st! Go Vikes!
PS-Good job Denver!